(supplemental to the current preaching series, Sex in a Broken World, from 1 Corinthians 5-7. Audio sermons available here.)
Were Ruth and Naomi, the centurion and his servant, David and Jonathan, and the Ethiopian eunuch all homosexual or bi-sexual? One of the more creative efforts is to discover relationships in the Bible narrative that must have been homosexual and are seen positively; thus the conclusion – The Bible endorses loving committed homosexual relationships and God blessed them. Is that true? Let’s take a look.
Ruth and Naomi – They were two widows, lost and alone in the world. They loved each other as mother and daughter. They joined their lives for survival and concern for the well-being of the other.
Ruth’s choice to go with Naomi gives us this powerful statement of commitment –
Where you go I will go, and where you stay I will stay. Your people will be my people and your God my God. Where you die I will die, and there I will be buried. Ruth 1:16, 17
What happened here?
It’s not complicated. Ruth, a Moabite, has converted to follow YAHWEH, the God of Israel.
Lesbian lovers? Absurd! In fact, Naomi devoted herself to counseling Ruth to find a godly husband, resulting in her marriage to Boaz.
This is a great double love story – the love of two women for each other as mother and daughter; and the love of a man and a woman who are joined together in marriage.
The Centurion and his servant – One of the great miracle accounts of the Gospels recorded in Matthew 8:5-13, is the healing of the servant of a Centurion in which Jesus commends the Centurion for his faith, I’ve not found anyone in Israel with such great faith. NIV. Nary a hint of anything sexual here. It is true that it was fairly common Roman practice for citizens to use slaves or young boys for sexual pleasure, but in such cases it was not consensual and would be in the category of rape or child sex abuse; a great evil for which Jesus would have had no tolerance. But nothing in this passage hints to any of this.
The Ethiopian eunuch – Without substantiation, the argument is being made that eunuchs are of some other sexual orientation, homosexual, bi-sexual or something else. And Jesus’ statement about eunuchs is marshaled for support of genetic orientation. For some are eunuchs because they were born that way; others were made that way by men; and others have renounced marriage because of the kingdom of heaven. Matthew 19:12
It’s perilous to say for sure what Jesus meant by “born that way,” but the most likely explanation is some kind of physical abnormality, perhaps in-differentiated, the inability to determine if the child is male or female because of underdevelopment or the rare case of both male and female genitalia in evidence. But the idea of orientation toward homosexuality is not indicated. Those surgically made eunuchs were most likely cut against their wills. Those who “renounced marriage” did it for a spiritual reason, a decision to be celibate, without indication of a different orientation.
David and Jonathan – This one is the most fascinating because of the western way of reading David’s expression of grief upon learning of Jonathan’s death.
I grieve for you, Jonathan my brother; you were very dear to me. Your love for me was wonderful, more wonderful than that of women. 2 Samuel 1:26
What does David mean here? The story of David and Jonathan is a wonderful story of friendship. They became relationally bound as brothers, even closer than brothers. They risked their lives for each other. They truly loved each other. Does that mean their relationship was sexual? If so, then David was certainly bi-sexual for his numerous wives and children prove he was not exclusively homosexual. But again, it is looking for what is simply not there.
Can’t men be very close to each other and love each other without a sexual component?
I give my own testimony. There are a few men in my life with whom I share very openly, pray for regularly, and would trust with my very life. I am unembarrassed to say that I love them, though I don’t commonly say “I love you!” to other men except for my son.
And it is because we are men, without the sexual connotations and temptations of male/female friendships that we can be such close friends. I wouldn’t trust myself with that kind of close friendship with a woman. It would be too dangerous. That is reserved for my wife alone!
But what about David’s comment, Your love for me was wonderful, more wonderful than that of women?
Doesn’t that sound like a sexual connotation? It may sound that way to western ears, but it’s not there. It is clearly contrasting the sexual love he has for women with his non-sexual love for a brother. Precisely because David was polygamous against God’s creation design, he could not have had the kind of true marital intimacy that is only possible in a one man/one woman relationship.
But apart from the baggage of his dysfunctional marriages, David had a very close relationship, a wonderful friendshp with Jonathan, a model for what men need with each other today.
But it’s not sexual. You won’t find any examples in the Bible that support homosexual behavior. It is uniformly condemned.
For more detail on the relationship of David and Jonathan or any other Bible questions about homosexuality, I recommend the work of Dr. Robert Gagnon, The Bible and Homosexual Practice. Much of Dr. Gagnon’s excellent work can also be found on his website http://www.robgagnon.net/ Don’t let the bow tie and the dated look of this site deter you from his excellent material.
Tom Macy 
err.. but if you cannot decide if you are physically a man or woman, what should your orientation be? You seem to not really answer the question. Also, the Centurion, why would someone so powerful care for a servant who is dying? Would you?! If you did not care enough, especially at that period of time. The class division was deeper than the Mariana Trench.Your love for me was wonderful, more wonderful than that of women? I just think that why would you even mention THIS?? It’s so obvious that men and women have a different relationship than bro-bro relationship, it’s redundant to mention it?? And.. a man who wants to spend more time with bro, than a loving wife who can offer sex?? That is just not MAKING ANY SENSE. If my husband says this to me, I will hire a detective to follow him and see what’s going on in his private life, wouldn’t you??
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Rose,
Thank you for writing. My blog has not been active for the past few years so I’m just now seeing your response and questions from June 2020 based on a post I did all the way back in 2013. A lot has happened in this discussion on sexuality and gender in these passing years. Not assuming you are still interested in my response, but I appreciate your questions and will give a brief response to each of them.
Initially, I will say that my position on these issues has not changed, though I hope over time I can better understand and express my views more carefully.
Your questions:
1. “if you cannot decide if you are physically a man or a woman, what should your orientation be?” This is what I believe is called “intersex,” a rare condition in which there is not clear evidence of a baby being male or female, but has some abnormality in development or even some presence of both male and female anatomical features. This is certainly outside of my expertise so that’s why I don’t really attempt to answer the question. Some questions don’t have obvious answers.
2. Regarding the Centurion and his servant, you ask, “Why would someone so powerful care for a servant who is dying?” I find your question very disturbing. Being “so powerful” doesn’t take away care and compassion for others except in the case of completely selfish and self-absorbed Individuals. I know hundreds of people and hope I am one of them who genuinely cares about others in their need, even strangers.
3. Regarding David and Jonathan and the culturally very different expression of a love “more wonderful than that of women,” I think I answered the question, but obviously not clearly enough. Western 21st century culture so narrowly connects love with sex that it undermines other genuine kinds of love. Of course, I wouldn’t use this language of 3000 years ago to talk about my friendships with other men. It would be grossly misunderstood. That’s why we need to know how cultural expressions and their meanings change over time and among different cultures. Otherwise, we will read our cultural ideas back into ancient texts and completely misunderstand them.
A weakness of our times is that love is so assumed to be sexual in nature that we’ve lost other vital categories. The greatest commandment is to love God with all our heart, soul, mind, and strength and the second greatest commandment is to love our neighbor as ourselves. There is no sexual connotation whatsoever in those priority commands. In the 3000 year old expression of love that David had for Jonathan, as I wrote before, David is “clearly contrasting the sexual love he has for women with his non-sexual love for a brother or friend.” David had his own problems with sexual love in his abuse of sex with polygamous relationships and in the notorious case of adultery with Bathsheba and murder of her husband in an effort to cover it up. But His friendship with Jonathan was of a different category, a deep friendship with another man, a category of love/friendship that all of us greatly need in our world today.
.
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